Parenting test #1

Two nights ago I had my first real heart wrenching experience as a mother. Savannah woke up around 4 am (her usual eating time) and like always she fell asleep while eating. I attempted to put her back in her bassinet but those big hazel eyes shot open, so I put her in bed between Oscar and I. This usually works to put her back to sleep but not this time. After about an hour of her tossing and turning and grunting, she finally let loose and started screaming. I knew there was absolutely nothing wrong with her--she had been fed and changed. She just didn't want to go back to sleep. I decided to just let her cry it out. After an hour, she finally exhausted her little body and passed out. I can't even explain how much it hurt my heart to just watch and hear her cry. Once she finally fell asleep, I couldn't hold back my own tears. I know this something that all parents have to do at some point but I always figured that I would be stronger and that it wouldn't bother me. I just can't bare to see her upset. Oh these little trials of parenthood....how will I ever get through the harder stuff.